Radical Aliveness

Thirteen Days in Israel — Part IX - Final Installment in this Series

2011-09-28T09:03:00.000-07:00

March 17-19 — A three-day workshop with a group of Bedouin women in Ashkelon, Israel.

"What are you so afraid of? I'm facing my fears. If today is your day to die, then so be it." What can you say to that? I started laughing.

Perhaps it's fitting that during the last two days of my trip I experienced firsthand what it feels like to be under mortar attack, because now I have a new understanding of the fear and danger these women live with on a daily basis.

Here's what happened. Rina, a Bedouin woman who had done work with me at Omega, invited me and three women from the Beyond Words organization—Silvi, an Arab Christian, and two Jewish women, Nitsan and Liri—to run a three-day workshop at a kibbutz two miles from the Gaza strip, with all Bedouin women.

Many of the twenty Bedouin women were wearing headscarves. In Bedouin culture the women's husbands are permitted to take multiple wives, and the women are told whom they can marry—and sometimes are forced to marry very young. Their lives are controlled. They don't have money. The tribes stay separate. Women are really not free in their Bedouin culture, and they're oppressed in Israeli society as well. They are getting it from all directions—from their husbands and families, from their tribal culture, and from the government of Israel.

When we got there the first night I was really tired. Silvi hadn't arrived yet, so I asked Liri and Nitsan to take the lead and run the first workshop. They had been Beyond Words leaders for many years, and I quietly observed.

The next day Silvi arrived, along with a Bedouin woman named Amal, who had been nominated for a Nobel Peace prize for her work in the Bedouin community. As I started working with the whole group, I was thrilled to see that the Bedouin women were really ready to get into it. For these women, it was a special treat that someone had come in from the outside to give them something. It was clear that they were going to take advantage of every single second.

They started telling stories that were so unbelievable. One woman said they had tried to marry her off but she'd stood up to them and said no. She wanted to go to school. For punishment, her family had taken her books and burned them. She was ostracized by her tribe. Four years later she met a man whom she felt was her soulmate. His wife had died and he had scars because he had been a skin donor to try in vain to save his wife's life, who was injured in a car wreck but ended up dying. She felt this man's suffering and married him. But her family was still against her and banished her, including her own twin brother. Because she had done what she wanted to do, she had born the punishment for it her whole life. She just couldn't bring herself to submit. After she married this man, he decided to take a second wife. Feeling deeply betrayed, she took her child with her back to her family, but they shut their doors on her and the child. Somehow, she supported herself and her child, and built her own house. Her husband, unhappy with his second marriage, ended up coming back to her. He begged her to take him back. She agreed, but on one condition: that they would live in her house.

Another woman said, "My husband used to beat me, but finally I turned him in and he went to prison. But now he's out of prison and he's beating my children." We got her hitting and saying "NO!" She started telling her husband he can never hit her children again. Her emotions radiated through the room and triggered a lot of pent-up feelings. Another woman started screaming, "Mother, where are you? Why aren't you protecting me?" Many of the women screamed and cried for their mothers. In Bedouin society, oppression is handed down from mothers and perpetuated by them.

The women went home, and the next day gunmen from Gaza started bombing the kibbutz where we were. At first, the shelling sounded far away. Then we heard this bomb explode really close by. We ran inside and tried to get under the bed. Then we saw people running outside, so we ran outside and followed them into a small concrete room that was the bomb shelter. Liri told me that even if a bomb hit on top of us we'd be fine. She was in post-traumatic shock. And I could see that Silvi was really angry. It was chaotic and confusing. Then the bombing stopped.

When we went outside to investigate, the bombing started again, so we ran back into the shelter. Ring ring. It was the Bedouin women calling us on phone. "We want to finish the workshop. We're coming to get you." The woman, who the day before had had the courage to stand up to her husband, arrived in a taxi with two other giant, powerful women, who put their arms around us. She (who remains nameless to protect her identity) looked me in the eyes and said, "What are you so afraid of? I'm facing my fears. If today is your day to die, then so be it. Come on!" What can you say to that? I started laughing. They reminded me of powerful angels coming to take us away.

We went in separate cars to a house that was away from the bombing to finish the workshop. I was in a car with Liri and Silvi, and Silvi was in a rage. "The government leaders use us," she cried. "The Jewish and Arab leaders use the conflict to support their causes, and we've got to take this away from them." She said they use us by getting us scared and angry, which perpetuates their conflict. "We can take it away from them. We can use it differently. The mortars are coming from Gaza, but Israel has so much more firepower to bomb the shit out of the Gaza leaders." She said they would use every opportunity to continue the conflict. "We women have to say no. We have to go to the streets and say no!"

In the backseat on the verge of tears, I was feeling their rage and their fear. I was thinking, how terrible that people around the world are living in these situations and we're in our comfortable privileged lives and not giving it a second thought. That car ride was more intense than the bomb. I felt their rage so fully.

In the end, they were all really happy that I had had this experience. Everyone said, "You need to know what life is like here and need to know what we're living with and what we're dealing with."

When we got all the women together for the final workshop, one of the Bedouin women who had come to get us said when she had hugged Liri in the bomb shelter, she had felt split. I love this woman, she said, but feel for the people of Gaza. She talked about how split her heart feels and how much she wants peace, but how her heart in that moment was with the people of Gaza and the Arabs. Liri was the only Jewish woman in that room. The women were saying all sorts of different things. All Jews aren't like Liri; they're not going to support us. Others were saying, yes, we can do this. Everything on that morning was out in the open.

I said I would never forget those brave Bedouin women coming to get me for the rest of my life.

Nor will I forget these 13 days in Israel, and all the courageous and open-hearted women who taught me and each other so much, women who are mending the rifts between religious and ethnic cultures one heart and soul at a time.

Thirteen Days in Israel - Part VIII

2011-08-18T10:47:00.000-07:00

March 16 -- A day with my Esalen group from last year, at Talitha Kumi, in the Occupied Territories of Palestine.

I noticed that Fatina and her son were really frightened. It slowly dawned on me that they were driving on a road that was traveled by Jews only.

I was so looking forward to my time in occupied Palestine, because it meant I would be reunited with the group of Jewish and Arab women I had worked with here in the US at a weeklong workshop at Esalen, in Big Sur, CA.

To get to Talitha Kumi, one has to go through a checkpoint. Because the Arabs who live in Palestine are not allowed to go into Jerusalem, it's only Jews who pass back and forth through this particular checkpoint. It was not difficult for me to pass through.

The night before the workshop, Nitsan and I spent time at the home of Rasha's mother. Rasha had been at Esalen with the Beyond Words group. An Arab from the occupied territory, she had left for the states two years ago without telling her family she wasn't coming back. When her mother found out I was coming, she wanted to meet me and treat me to a feast, because she'd learned that I had been helping her daughter. Rasha had come to the States with no money and no connections, but Americans have been so inspired by her story that she's gotten support from various people. Now she's at Brandeis on a student visa, working toward her PhD.

Rasha's mother, a religious Muslim, had spent two days preparing a feast for our group, and I had been told, "Don't eat before you go there. You won't believe what they're going to do for you." When the mother saw me, we both simultaneously burst into tears. She had fixed this unbelievable meal with Rasha's sister and two best friends, and all the little kids sitting around the table for this amazing feast—soup and rice and beans and three different meat courses, olives and pickles and vegetables—and I ate and ate and ate. I was just about to clear away when the mother put a whole chicken on my plate! She cried half the time I was there. Nitsan, from Beyond Words, and Rasha's friends who could speak English were translating. They all wanted me to know what life was like for them. It was an amazing experience—and the feast lasted for two hours.

The workshop the next day was in a room of an Arab school. All the women who came had been at Esalen with me—half of them Jewish, and the other half Arabs—three of whom lived in Palestine, and the rest Arab women who lived in Israel. The women of Gaza have to be really careful about not letting people know they are doing this peace work with me and the Beyond Words organization. Only their families know; they are doing this undercover.

The work got very deep, very fast. The women really dug into the politics of the Israeli-Arab conflict, and their feelings of anger and grief were palpable in the room. At Esalen, the Radical Aliveness work was challenging for them, but here, with me, in their own backyard, everyone just went for it. No one was holding back.

They had been working together on and off since I last saw them about a year before. The women of the group were really present and bringing up their feelings. One Arab woman was telling a story about how she works for the housing authority that gives building permits. She had met an Arab man who was dying of cancer and who wanted to build a home for his family. She issued the permit and told him to go ahead and build it, then the Israelis bulldozed his house. She was sobbing, saying how betrayed she felt, and how terrible she felt about her participation in the system. An Arab woman stood up and was angry too. Then a Jewish woman got up and said, "I am an angry Jew—I'm angry at what's going on too." She went wild, and soon everyone was howling in pain. The women really worked directly on the conflict and it was inspiring to see how much safety and trust they were able to create in that room, and how much work they had done together since Esalen a year earlier, work that had freed them up to be more real and more honest. It was a wonderful, deep group and experience.

In the end, we talked about how they had gotten empowered by the work, and how different they felt now compared with when they were at Esalen. They also remarked on how healing it was for them to have an outsider—not Jewish, not part of the conflict—to facilitate. They said it made them much freer to express their feelings. Actually, everyone said this to me everywhere I went. My "outsider" status brought safety and neutrality to the groups, and allowed them to express themselves more powerfully.

At the end of that workshop one of the Beyond Words women, Fatina, a Muslim Arab, wanted to take me to Bethlehem. I agreed. She and her son took me around Bethlehem and showed me the church where people had hidden out without food or medicine to avoid being killed by Israeli forces. The town was thousands of years old. In the center of the town were a lot of youth staging a peaceful demonstration to try and bring the two parties together, Fatah and Hamas. At the time, the town was split between these two parties. They also took me to the center Fatina is starting with other women in the occupied territories—a place to empower women to make money. They served me sweets and coffee and I met all the budding entrepreneurial women.

As they drove me back on the road toward the checkpoint to take me back into Israel, I noticed that Fatina and her son were really frightened. It slowly dawned on me that they were driving on a road that was traveled by Jews only, because Arabs were not allowed to cross at the checkpoint it led to. They were terrified to be caught on that "forbidden" road, and it really brought home to me the kind of fear they live with. Basically, it's a road only for Jews. We were driving really slowly because they were really nervous just to be on that road where Arabs are not supposed to be. Nitsan and Assaf, both Jewish, had already driven through the checkpoint from the Israeli side and were waiting for us, parked just past the checkpoint. This aroused the suspicions of the soldiers. When Nitsan saw Fatina and her son drive up with me, she saw the look on their faces and burst into tears. "I'm so sorry," she said. She kept saying over and over how unfair it was for Fatina and her son, and how badly she felt for them. Nitsan later told me she saw a mother and child who cried and cried because they couldn't go through the checkpoint.

The soldiers did let us drive through, after really checking us out. My own fear, though, made me realize what these Arab women live with daily.

Radical Aliveness meets Women's Initiative Non-Profit Organization

2011-08-01T14:42:00.000-07:00

photos by: Sherri Brown

Five Students from the 3rd Year Class of our Radical Aliveness Core Energetics Professional Certification Program traveled up north to lead a 3-Day workshop for twenty staff members of the Women's Initiative non-profit organization. This is what we mean by taking Radical Aliveness out into the world!

Thirteen Days in Israel – Part VII

2011-07-28T12:23:00.000-07:00

March 15 -- A day with peace facilitators and social workers at Givat Haviva.

I have seen with my own eyes hundreds of ordinary people performing extraordinarily skillful acts of emotional healing.

I had the privilege of traveling to the community of Givat Haviva, where the Beyond Words organization arranged for me to work with some women at the Jewish Arab Center for Peace. It’s an inspiring place, having been established way back in the early 1960s with the mission of bringing Jews and Arabs in Israel closer together, and to help them achieve a mutual understanding of their cultures and concerns. What better place to do my Radical Aliveness work?

What was wonderful is that these dozen social workers were all studying post-graduate facilitation skills in a year-long course. So in a sense, we all went into the workshop with the same vocabulary and intentions. The leader of the school was quite nervous about bringing me in. But people who had worked with me in the past had recommended me highly.

First, I got the women into small groups and we did an ice-breaker exercise in which women in each small group shared with each other the messages they had received from their families, messages they had received from their culture, and talked about how these messages affected their bodies. This is generally a good one to get workshop participants talking, emoting, feeling, listening, and observing. It always opens up a goldmine of issues and gets energy in the room and in their bodies flowing freely. It’s like bringing an enormous pile of art supplies into the middle of the room -- it gives us lots to work with.

This is a good opportunity for me to offer a quick aside -- some background on what's really behind my approach. Yes, getting people into small groups is an ice-breaker. But here's why: All human beings have innate healing, intuitive, and empathic qualities, yet they don't necessarily know how to access these. For example, if I were to say to a perfect stranger, "Here, spend some time with this partner and really connect. Find out who she is and what makes her tick. Really relate to her," the stranger would look at me blankly and say, "I can't. I don't know what you want me to do." And yet, if you ask the same person a specific set of questions, and they know that everyone in the room will be disclosing at the same level of vulnerability and intensity, they will talk. They will listen. They will begin to feel camaraderie, or perhaps they will feel fear or grief or anger or shame or some other strong emotion.

The point is, this seemingly simple exercise gets ordinary, untrained people using quite advanced healing skills. Without consciously realizing it, real support and openness unfurls inside these small pods. They experience the sense of helping -- and asking for help. Simple? Yes. But flexing such healing muscles -- in a room where other small groups are doing exactly the same thing -- creates an almost magical atmosphere filled with emotional, electric charge that radiates out into a room vibrating with connection, support, and ability.

I love this basic exercise because it's a very real, hands-on way to show participants that they have masterful skills that come quite naturally. I love to support individuals to access their healing abilities. We have it in us – I have seen with my own eyes hundreds of ordinary people performing extraordinarily skillful acts of emotional healing.

Using their skills of listening, empathizing, supporting, and observing, every woman in that room readily saw that she already possessed leadership and healing abilities. So I got everyone started at a higher plane of confidence and connection than they entered with.

After the exercise, we started talking about what it brought up for people. It was beautiful. The women were willing to go to such deep and vulnerable places. For example, one of the Arab women got to work on the death of her brother, which she hadn’t opened up about publicly until then, and felt very relieved to do so. Another young woman had been sexually abused, and she had never told anybody. Everyone in the group was deeply affected by these and other stories. By the end, we were all were crying, feeling deeply, and really supporting each other.

What happens when you support this kind of process is that the energy moves around the room. One person opens up, and then another and another. It's like a charge that gets passed from person to person. When we open ourselves to our deepest feelings -- and those of others -- it creates spontaneous healing. The simple small-group exercise is invaluable in places where people desperately need healing, but don't know how to say it, express their need, or open up.

Afterwards, when they shared, the women were saying what a special day this was for them. Their director admitted she had been hesitant and protective for the students to have me there. She told me, “It was really an incredible experience to see how deep the whole group went.” She added that the work I did with her students was so profound and beautiful she was very happy she had taken the leap.

It was a lovely, lovely experience for me too.

Thirteen Days in Israel – Part VI

2011-07-11T13:11:00.000-07:00

March 14 – A small Arab village

It's extremely difficult to get to your true and deep feelings if you don't feel safe.

In writing about the work I did in Israel, I've tried to be very sensitive to those people who sometimes had to overcome great obstacles and even put themselves in danger to meet with me and do our group process. In the case of the day I'm about to describe, I cannot name the small town I went to, nor name the Arab women from Beyond Words who invited me. It is such a small town that everyone who lives there is related in some way or another, either by blood or by marriage. With the villagers, our work would raise suspicions.

Following my three-day break, I went next to this small Arab village, where I met with a group that was mostly Muslim Arab women, with one or two Jewish women. These were all kindergarten teachers who had been working with two Beyond Words leaders for about six months.

The challenge with this particular group was that they all worked together at the grade school, and as mentioned, were closely related, which is not conducive to creating a safe setting for revealing and unleashing deep feelings. Imagine wanting and needing very badly to talk about a traumatic experience, or reveal a secret fear, or just unleash a raw emotion in such a setting. All of these women feared judgment, and they did not feel certain that everything that happened in the room would stay there. And of course, some of their secrets or stories would likely betray the confidence of another woman in the room.

I always learn from these kinds of challenges, but that doesn't make them easier! It was clear from the beginning that most of the women in the group felt unsure and unsafe. I finally ended up getting them in the flow and feeling their emotions by helping them move their energy in a way that felt less threatening and less personally charged to them. "Babies are completely free," I told them. "Be babies, and be wild." They were able to do that. With every group you have to find a way "in," and this exercise worked, more or less.

Although letting go like this was healing for many of them, the modest progress I was able to make with this particular group reminded me of the challenge we all face: It's extremely difficult to get to your true and deep feelings if you don't feel safe. In a way, the work the Beyond Words women and I are doing with all of these courageous people is helping them learn how to create safe spaces where they can release anger, fear, and other emotions. It's all about trusting your fellow man and being in community with others who are doing so too. That's how individual healing begins and spreads out into the community, one group at a time.

Thirteen Days in Israel – Part V

2011-06-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

March 11-13 – Our Three-Day Break in Nazareth

Many Westerners have such a skewed vision of Arabs. They are unbelievably helpful, generous, and very proud of their legendary hospitality.

After five days of intense work, we were happy to have a three-day break in the Arab town of Nazareth, graciously organized by our hosts, Silvi (Arab) and Varda (Jewish), two leaders from Beyond Words.

Some highlights: They took us for an incredible meal at an Arab restaurant. If you haven't eaten authentic Arab food, you are in for a treat. This was an upscale restaurant -- the kind of place you might find in New York or LA -- that served local fresh foods. I had a beautiful salad and a mouthwatering lamb dish, both of which were delicious.

We also went sightseeing and saw the Church of the Annunciation, a church built over the cave where Mary, while collecting water, received a message from God that she was going to be a mother. They had built a shrine around the cave entrance, which you could still walk past. The church was a grand structure with an enormous dome circled by giant stained-glass panels contributed by many different countries. All of the panels depicted the theme of the angel Gabriel coming down from heaven to tell the Virgin Mary that she'd been chosen to bear the son of God. I was dazzled by how different all the windows were, and how they highlighted the diversity of human beings and the human spirit in an exquisite way. The church was so different from any I have ever seen, and its breathtaking beauty made me cry.

Another treat during our three-day rest was our visit to a spice vendor. Like everything in Nazareth, it was in an ancient building. You went downstairs into this basement through an open door. When you step into the first of three rooms, your senses came alive. Every inch of the place was filled with spices, teas, dried fruits, nuts, and seeds. The vendor was a kind and open-hearted man who, like every Arab I met, was so generous and so eager to show us his store, and to offer us tastes and samples of everything. Many Westerners have such a skewed vision of Arabs. They are unbelievably helpful, generous, and very proud of their legendary hospitality. When you are their guest, they feed you and tend to your every need and make you feel honored and well cared for. Fiercely proud of their cultural tradition of hospitality, they want everyone to know that the terrorist-stereotype is not who they are.

We talked with him for quite some time, and he was happy to listen and to answer our questions. He told us about the spices and how he doesn't sell anything from other places, that everything in his shop was locally grown and made. I pointed to a small row of Coca-cola bottles on the shelf. "Except those," I said, jokingly. Oh no, he replied, those too. He told us that the women of Nazareth make a sweet, dark, brown syrup that is used to treat just about anything that ails you. On closer examination, I saw that these bottles weren't filled with soda pop. Of course, he gave me a bottle to try. "It cures everything," he told me.

Anna and I relished every moment of our break in Nazareth. This was the end of Anna's part of the trip. After our stay in Silvi's home, we said goodbye to Anna. I am always amazed at the healing power of rest and rejuvenation. I felt a great sense of renewal and clarity at the end of those three days, and was ready to forge on to the next group that awaited us.

Thirteen Days in Israel – Part IV

2011-06-13T10:38:00.000-07:00

March 10-11 -- 2-Day Workshop in Nes Ammim

"You can't work on peace alone. You need your enemy in order to create peace."

Anna and I spent March 10 and 11 at Nes Ammim, a Christian kibbutz. We worked with a big group of Jewish, Arab Palestinian, Bedouin, and Druse women from all over the country who had done a lot of profound emotional work previously with the Beyond Words organization. Most of these women had worked with me in the past, so we were able to get to a deeper level right away. At this retreat were also Silvi, Nitsan, and Nurit, three leaders from Beyond Words.

Silvi became the catalyst for everyone's emotions on day one. Silvi, whose brother and brother-in-law had recently been killed in a factory accident, began expressing her grief and outrage. The factory where they both worked had blown up due to dangerous conditions that had not been addressed by the employer. She was in tons of grief, so I brought her out in the middle of the room, where she began screaming and kicking. The whole room exploded -- everybody was sobbing. It felt like an ancient wailing circle.

Afterwards, Nitsan came into an emotional place where she was kicking and screaming and saying that it was too much pain to bear -- all this pain happening all at once. I explained to her and to the group why it's not necessary to have a controlled process where everything is explained and understood. When we let our feelings take over, it gives everyone an opportunity to experience their deepest feelings. When this happens, it's as if there's pain that simply needs to emerge and come through the group. By allowing ourselves to be used that way, something gets processed in the room. It goes beyond one person telling a story and having it be tied up into a neat package.

Nurit said the experience in a moment like that is one of profound unity. Separateness melts away and we become one whole room, together. The entire group was mourning with Silvi, allowing the pain of the world to flow through them. In that moment, who's Arab and who's a Jew, who's a friend and who's not -- all separations melted away.

The next day at Nes Ammim, there was a Bedouin woman who had been frightened by the work of the previous day. We got her talking, and she ended up telling us the story of her life. She had been through hell. At 17, she'd married her husband, who was abusive and separated her from everyone she knew. Now she was in her 60s. It was amazing for her and for us, because she was someone who really hadn't had a voice. As she told her story, she started feeling so good. We could see her become empowered. We were all having so much fun listening to her, and she was hysterically funny giving us advice about sex.

In the afternoon session, the issues and involvement of the Arab women emerged. One woman was obviously having a hard time with the process, and was saying to everyone in the room, "Things are getting worse! Things are so bad for my children. They are suffering." She implored the Jewish women to go out and make different choices, take different actions that would make a difference in her children's lives. "Don't just hear me," she said. "Do something different." We all held her.

Another Arab woman, who had not been to any Beyond Words workshops for a while, stood up and expressed anger at Nitsan for the way she leads. I said to her, "You're angry with Nitsan, but you need to step into leadership. You have to be a leader." She said she was afraid, and explained, "I'm so sick of being outnumbered. I feel so alone." She said whenever she joined a group to do work on peace, "There's always two Jews to every Arab wherever I go. I'm always outnumbered." She started screaming at the other Arab women too. "Come stand with me! I need your help!" Silvi was sobbing, and said, "I've been waiting for you to come back here, sister." Then the Jewish women came and stood around to support the Arab women. It was another profound moment of connection, unity, and shared intentions. The Arab women were saying that they wanted to work together again and be part of things and there was going to have to be some way that they needed to do things differently together. They said they wanted to make things work. At least momentarily, it was a reconciliation between the woman who had now come back and the Beyond Words leaders.

Her message and that of the other Arab women came out loud and clear: Here's all our rage and anger and here's what made it hard for us. Here's what we need in order to continue this work. I'm so afraid to do it alone, I need your help.

When a group gets to places like that, what comes out is the need for help and mutual support. People who are working on peace can't do it without their enemies. You can't work on peace alone. You need each other. I can't do this without you, is the message. I need my enemy in order to create peace.

Thirteen Days in Israel Part 3

2011-05-23T15:18:00.000-07:00

March 9 -- Silvi and Nurit's group in Zefat-Mgrar

"The Jewish women were saying, our culture and religion tells us we shouldn't be meeting."

On the third day, Beyond Words had arranged for us to work in this gorgeous, magical place called Zefat-Mgrar. It was an ancient Arab village, but now only Jews live there. In this beautiful place, you could still feel, in the walls and the ground, the energy and the presence of the Arabs who had lived here for centuries. Regardless of your political viewpoint, it’s unavoidable when you're in a place like this not to feel the conflict between the cultures, and to experience some sort of internal conflict as well. You come face to face with the history of this country, where people had to leave their ancestral homes and can’t return.

The place where we met had the feeling of a harem--a secluded house in older Muslim cultures where only women would live. There were stone passageways and big amazing stone rooms. Intricate and richly colored carpets covered the floors and there was a huge vaulted ceiling and windows high up that let in the natural light. It was a completely spectacular space.

This particular group was composed of about 15 women, extremely religious Jewish and Christian, Muslim, and Druze women. They have been working with Silvi (who is Arab Christian) and Nurit (who is Jewish) from Beyond Words.

One Druse woman had done Radical Aliveness work with me before, so she was very excited for Anna and me to get there. She started by talking about something that had happened to her at work, where she lost her ability to speak up for herself. As we listened to her and worked with her, she started feeling like she was having a past-life experience. She became frightened when she tried to describe the sensation of being strangled.

As I've mentioned before, in groups where intense energy starts moving and people are going to very deep emotional places, it's not unusual for one person's cathartic emotions to get things moving and serve as a trigger for others. This woman’s past-life experience brought up feelings in another woman, a Jewish woman, who was having trouble finding her voice. We worked with her also- helping her to move open her voice- she felt liberated and empowered in this process.

The religious Jewish women told us that in her culture it's highly unusual that they and other women would be involved in work like this. In fact, many of them did so in secret. "Our culture and religion tells us we shouldn't be meeting."

All the women really loved the work we did that day. They expressed to us that they were proud of the fact that they had become such an amazing group. With Anna and myself, and in their ongoing group work with Silvi, Nurit, and the Beyond Words organization, these women are bravely defying the oppressive aspects of their culture. I felt honored to support and further their efforts.

In all of the places we went, the people were interested in the Radical Aliveness work and interested in going deeper--in being a part of a process and a movement. Mostly the thing that's amazing about collaborating with Beyond Words is seeing people coming from such different points of view--really wanting to be together, loving each other, bearing witness to others' deep work.

Noha had said at her college that there is intense political conflict, but when you get these people working with each other and revealing profound feelings and experiences, it starts to accomplish deep healing even around still-raw historic wounds. After working with fellow human beings in a room and feeling their fear, pain, and exaltation, they really can't look at so-called enemies in the same way.

This is a big part of the Beyond Words mission: to get these women in connection with each other, to really get to know each other and care about each other, and to move beyond differences of culture, religion, and politics. Only then can we find the place of commonality, where we are all human beings.

Thirteen Days in Israel - Part 2

2011-05-10T11:06:00.000-07:00

March 8 -- Efy's group in Kfar Vradim

"One man cried -- and told me he hadn't cried in twenty years."

This was to be an all-day workshop with Jewish men and women who were studying playback theatre with Efy, in Kfar Vradim. Efy had been to Omega Institute and has worked with me and the Beyond Words group there. So Beyond Words helped her organize this big group of mostly women, and just two men, all Jews.

This was a fabulous group experience because all of the participants were involved with therapeutic theatre work, and all of them had done emotional work in the past, so we were able to dive right in.

When we work with groups like this that are very emotionally adept, I sometimes like to start with a mandala exercise. With this group, we created a big circle with everyone’s heads in the center, so they were arranged like spokes of a wheel. Anna and I got them all breathing and releasing simultaneously, kicking, making sounds. This exercise creates an energy flow that becomes palpable. When everyone is on the floor doing the same thing, it enables them to have a big emotional release and let go easily.

That was happening beautifully with this group. Anna and I walked around and facilitated, reading people’s energy. You kind of work the room, moving from person to person, helping them in places where they’re stuck to keep the energy building and building. It creates a huge energy field you can work with and move around, like a giant organism.

From doing this so many years, I can spot where energy is throbbing and wanting to break through. I look at the room and often pinpoint one person in whom the energy has built to such a pitch that when I work with that person, they will take the whole room with them. It’s as if that single person becomes the key that facilitates the entire group process.

In this particular group, I looked around the circle and, noticing one woman, I could feel there was something very powerful that needed to go through her. When I focused in on her, she quickly went to a very early place of needing her mother. I took her to an old and raw childhood trauma, where she re-experienced the loss of her mother when she was just a young child--and then she completely let go. Her cries and her pain, in turn, opened up the room. As often happens when one person really lets go and breaks through, a lot of people start feeling things at once. It feels like an electrical charge goes through the room and everyone feels the jolt and comes alive.

Sometimes it’s difficult to describe this work to those who haven’t done it. But the beauty of the Radical Aliveness process is that when you can get a group of people like this to experience deep emotions fully, without inhibition or censorship, they begin to feel things that they would never normally feel. Among this group, there was a beautiful Jewish man who finally felt grief he hadn’t expressed for many years. It’s much more unusual for men to be involved in this kind of work, particularly in their Israeli culture, so we were all touched by his vulnerability and openness. He got very radically alive, and told me he hadn’t cried in twenty years. Later he danced and said he also hadn’t danced in twenty years. And that is the beauty of this work, when we fully embrace our pain we also open to our pleasure.

Everyone was thrilled by what had happened that day. When we finished, you could look around the room and see that people were feeling their energy and were fully alive.

Following last weekend's "Resistance & Surrender Workshop

2011-05-10T10:11:00.000-07:00

Dear group- sometimes I can't find words for my experiences in these groups. Something happens for me when a group explodes and everyone comes alive and the heavens open up and all the feelings come pouring through and there is healing and surrender and joy and pain and LIFE all the way without holding back and we are one and following the flow. It makes me cry just to write this. What we are capable of as human beings when we surrender to the full flow. Such healing, such wisdom and grace beyond words. So many images that stick in my mind- of aliveness, freedom, truth, discomfort, struggle leading to breakthroughs, courage, generosity. I know this is how life really is- I want to support that. Go out and be alive!

Thank you for this bliss I feel. Love ann

2011-05-05T14:08:00.001-07:00

Thirteen Days in Israel - Part 1 - Part of a Series of Blogs on Ann's work in Israel

2011-05-04T08:24:00.000-07:00

Thirteen Days in Israel -- Part 1

From March 7 through March 19, 2011, I traveled in Israel and Palestine doing Radical Aliveness group healing and coexistence work with Jewish, Arab Christian, Druse, Muslim, and Bedouin men and women. My workshop itinerary was organized by the Beyond Words organization, a group of multiethnic women working to bring about peace in Israel and the occupied territories. I’ve had the privilege to train these women in Radical Aliveness work at Esalen Institute here in California and also in Israel.

Over the course of working with eight different groups arranged by Beyond Words, there were giant feasts put on in my honor with more food than I could possibly eat. There was a Jewish man who cried for the first time in 20 years, and a Bedouin woman who had never shared with anyone her heartbreaking story of being ostracized by her tribe, standing up to her husband, and struggling to survive without any help. People from diverse religions, cultures, and political backgrounds screamed at, sobbed with, and ultimately embraced one another. During the last days of my trip, the kibbutz where we were working was hit by mortar fire. As I huddled in the bomb shelter, Layla, one of the Bedouin women we had been working with before the bombing, came into the shelter and said, “What are you so afraid of? If today is your day to die, then so be it. Come on!” I started laughing and left the bomb shelter with Layla to finish our work. As we drove off to meet the other Bedouin women who were waiting for us, I realized Layla was right. We’re not finished with our work yet -- but we are getting closer.

March 1, 2011—Noha's College in Mgrar

"There was an Arab man who lit up the room -- a big juicy man."

My colleague and fellow Radical Aliveness facilitator on this trip was Anna Timmermans, from Holland. The first place the Beyond Words organization sent us was my friend Noha's college in Mgrar, an Arab village. A lot of Westerners are unaware that there are many pockets of Israel populated almost exclusively by Arabs. They call themselves Palestinians, because Israel was known as Palestine before it was renamed. Noha’s college is a satellite of a Jewish college, and the first college in her village. It trains graduate students who want to be teachers and different types of therapists.

This first workshop group comprised mostly Arabs and a few Jews, all studying drama therapy. Through the coordinating efforts of Beyond Words, Noha invited us to her school to introduce the Radical Aliveness work to these future therapists. Noha was the first woman in her village to drive. Now she's running this amazing college.

Because these workshop participants were already adept at emotional work, it was easy for Anna and me to get them to come alive. The most interesting thing that happened in this group? There was an Arab man who literally lit up the room the second we saw him -- a big juicy man. The Arab culture is incredibly alive and full of passion, but when an individual shows his emotions, it’s looked upon as a weakness. This is especially true for men.

We started with an exercise I often do with new groups, in which we break them into groups of three and they ask each other questions about what messages they got from their family, from their culture, and from the other culture. Then in turn, two partners repeat the answers of the third one back to him or her, and that person is asked to focus on what’s happening in his or her body.

When this large Arab man listened to his own words reflected back, he was aware that he felt the top part of his body a lot, but couldn’t feel the lower parts of his body. We started by getting him hitting The Cube -- a gigantic fabric cube the Beyond Words women had sewn together for me, stuffed with foam. (Throughout this trip, The Cube became a major character, traveling with us all across Israel and Palestine, crammed into back seats, often on top of an unlucky passenger, pulled over by some cops, kicked, beaten, and beloved.) We watched in awe as this man, whose energy filled up the whole room, went wild on The Cube. He was so powerful and full of energy and willing to let it out.

After he had been hitting for a while, I asked him to start kicking The Cube. He was hesitant at first, and we had to encourage him to keep going. What came out was that he said he was afraid of his aggression, and felt that he couldn’t be trustworthy if he were to get in touch with all that trapped energy. He said he feared that he would do things that were against his religion and culture. I explained to him that if we don’t get in touch with our blocked and frozen energy and let it flow, then it will either come out in unconscious ways, or we will have to be in constant control to keep it from coming out -- and that will compromise our aliveness. When we’re afraid of feeling all our energy, we sometimes act inappropriately. This man understood, and then he really came alive. Everyone was encouraging him, especially the women.

Afterwards, the women in the group were crying, "I want my father to do this work, I want my brother to do this, I want my husband to do this!" They were so unbelievably moved and touched that an Arab man would be expressing himself so fully, that he could be so vulnerable, and that he was talking about his feelings and using his energy in such a powerful way.

This experience supported our knowledge that real power comes from the place where we become vulnerable and claim all of our energy fully, without controlling it.

That evening, Noha took Anna, Nitzan (also from Beyond Words), and myself to her house for a feast in our honor. One of the things you discover about Arab culture, and about which they are deeply proud -- and rightly so -- is their incredible hospitality. They welcome you into their home whether they know you or not. They give you all their food. When you are in an Arab culture, you can be sure that you’ll be taken care of and treated as an honored guest wherever you go.

GROUP "Three Sisters"

2011-04-28T14:21:00.000-07:00

"Group" Trailer -- Radical Aliveness with Ann Bradney

2011-04-11T10:09:00.000-07:00

Message from a 1st Year Student in the Radical Aliveness / Core Energetics Training Program

2011-03-10T10:46:00.000-08:00

March 2011

Here is what I have to say to potential new students.

I have tried several different types of therapy and none have come close to working like Core. There is something so unique about the process that makes it hard to put into words other than it works and it works fast. If you want fast, real, tangible change in your life –this is for you.

It has the unique quality of circumventing your mind and ego so you cannot control, stop or slow down the process like with talking types of therapy. It moves through you on a cellular level leaving the imprint of change that will stay with you.

I was worried that I wouldn't have the time to do this program with my busy life, but it has actually fit very easily into my very busy schedule.

I wasn't even looking for major change or to deal with major issues when I joined. I just saw some things in my life that I wanted to change and empower. I was looking for subtle shifts and fine-tuning. I got that and so much more.

Only halfway through my first year and I am living a more authentic life than I could have imagined for myself at this point. I feel so powerful and clear and true to myself.

I joke to my friends and tell them that I am the Bourne Ultimatum of Process work. I feel laser sharp and intense clarity when dealing with people, life and myself.

If you have the courage to show up and the willingness to grow to your highest potential, then the RA training program is for you.

- Jonathan, 1^st Year Student

For more quotes from students, see this previous blog post http://annbradneyradicalaliveness.blogspot.com/2010/07/testimonials-from-students.html

After the 5-Day Radical Aliveness Workshop at Esalen

2011-01-22T15:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Radical Aliveness Participants,

I am still sitting with the energy of all that we experienced. I want to remind you to take care of yourselves. Work like this opens things and always leaves one with a lot to think about and feel. Please reach out, get support if you need it.

Remember all the great things you did. Take them out into life- risk, reveal, tell the truth, take responsibility, sit in the fire.

That last afternoon is seared into my brain and heart- that is my vision for a better world. I have such an image of so many voices, bringing different perspectives, staying with a messy process, standing up for what felt true, bringing out your voices - helping to unfold a deeply healing and profound experience. No one held the truth- there was no right way- everyone was needed to find our way. This is what I want you to take most of all- you are needed to help unfold the deepest healing of this world. It takes courage, it takes patience, it takes a willingness to be uncomfortable- but look where we go when we all show up!

There is a quote which I can't quite remember but it goes something like this- "I am not afraid of the cruelty of humanity- that is not what will be the downfall of us- what I fear is the complacency- the blind acceptance of what is without questioning"

Thank you for your vulnerability, for the stepping into the not knowing, for standing up when you did know, for risking making messes, and for your willingness to see your responsibility in what gets created. I have so many memories of moments that brought such deep healing. You are in my heart.

Love,

ann

The Latest from Radical Aliveness and Israel's Beyond Words

2010-11-29T09:15:00.000-08:00

I want to share this newsletter from Nitsan. In such a beautiful way, it speaks about the work I am doing with the Beyond Words women from Israel. One of the things that was special for me about this workshop was that three women from my Radical Aliveness training program also participated. The wisdom and strength they added was so meaningful – I loved having them be able to join in this experience.

Good News: The Beyond Words Newsletter

November 2010

Beyond Words (BW) is an Israeli nonprofit organization that works to promote a life of justice, tolerance and peace by empowering and training Jewish and Palestinian Arab women in Israel and the Occupied Territories to become agents of change.

To achieve this mission the organization runs courses and workshops for professionals in the helping fields, entrepreneurs, teachers, and mothers using a unique multidisciplinary approach also called Beyond Words. In October 2010 the Organization sent a group of Arab and Jewish facilitators to the Omega Institute in New York for in-depth peace building training with Ann Bradney (Radical Aliveness Core Energetics®) and the Beyond Words staff. That trip so far away from home proved to be …

The Way Back Home

by: Nitsan Gordon MA, Director, The Beyond Words Organization

The way back home is the way back into our own hearts. – Cathy Johnson

At first she just showed him her identity card. “No you can’t go in”, he said “Not today”. “But I must go in today” Rina, a young Arab Bedouin woman who lives in Israel, replied trying to control the urgency in her voice, “they are burying her tomorrow and if I don’t see her today I will never be able to see her again.” Her control was breaking and tears started welling up in her eyes.

Her grandmother who had lived in El Bureij – a refugee camp south of Gaza City – was the one who raised her and was more of a mother to her than her own. All she wanted was to be able to go across the border into Gaza and be with her family as they sat around the body and mourned this woman whom she loved so much. She just wanted to touch her hand and see her one last time. So she tried again. Facing the Druze Israeli soldier at the checkpoint and using a word that was not easy for a young proud Bedouin woman to use when facing a man: “Batrajak” she said. “Please I must see her just one last time.” She knew she was begging and might hate herself later but the urgency was too strong to deny and she had to do something, something that would change his cold gaze, something that would open his heart. But it was useless. “No” was the answer and nothing was going to change it.

Feeling defeated and so angry she drove back to her home near Beer Sheva. Two days later she was given permission to enter. But now her grandmother was already deep within the ground and all she could feel when she held her photo and gazed at the mound of earth was immense anger at everything and everyone. Especially she hated the Occupation that had denied so many of her people their rights for so long.

Now, months later, she was in a workshop at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck NY, thousands of miles away in a beautiful, sunny space with a wooden dance floor surrounded by large windows. Looking through she saw the autumn leaves of the nearby woods shine in greens and reds from the early morning rain and the sun shimmering on the nearby lake. The workshop was led by Ann Bradney who heads a school for Radical Aliveness Core Energetics® and lead facilitators from the staff of Beyond Words.

It did not seem like there could be a place that looked more different than the graveyard in El Boreij where she had come to bid goodbye to her grandmother and yet it was the first place in a long time where she felt safe to look at her feelings.

Was it the eyes of her partner in the listening partnership looking at her, really wanting to understand? Or Ann’s words --- that any feeling is welcome in this room no matter what it looks like and how terrible it feels? Or was it the 22 American and Israeli Jewish and Arab Palestinian women in the room who seemed to care so much? She did not know, but after two days of revealing more and more of herself and feeling so accepted she was ready to bring her anger to this group.

Holding a tennis racket in her gloved hand she began hitting the large (4X4 feet) foam cube (a workshop prop). At first no words came, not even a sound. But as she felt the energy starting to move more and more quickly within her body and as she heard the encouraging words around her, sounds began emerging from deep within, from places that she rarely visited and soon the sounds became words. “How dare you?” she screamed looking directly at the Jewish women in the group and beating the cube loudly with the tennis racket. She did not care at that moment what they thought or what anyone else thought. Hitting again and again she continued, “How dare you deny me this right? It is my right!!!! And I would never do this to you. Never” And then the tears began coming as she whispered: “All I wanted was to see her one last time, just to touch her hand….”

Crying she seemed to fold inward and some feelings of helplessness returned. But Nikki, a woman from East India who has led groups for women all over Africa, was standing behind her and would not let her retreat into her helplessness: “You have to continue hitting,” she whispered in her ear, “continue feeling your power because you don’t want to be a slave anymore, not to your own feelings of helplessness, not to anyone else. This is your opportunity to set yourself free.”

As Rina continued shouting, crying and hitting the cube, more words of anger came including anger towards the Israeli soldiers who she felt treated people so badly. “Our people would never do that to you,” she said.

Hearing those words some of the Jewish women in the room began fidgeting. Ann sensed it. She looked at Tamar who seemed very restless “Tamar, there seems to be a truth that wants to come out through you,” she said encouraging her to stand up and speak it.

Slowly Tamar stood up and faced Rina. Then she spoke, her body shaking. “I am just tired of feeling fear. For almost 50 years I have been breathing, feeling, eating fear. Fear coming through my mother who is a Holocaust survivor and lost both parents when she was six, fear of living next to the border, being bombed as we have been and fear of going to public places, where people explode. I am very sorry about what happened to you Rina and how you were not able to see your grandmother. It is so sad… and yet I don’t think you can isolate this situation from the reason why all this is happening. Our military is not just there at the checkpoints in order to make the lives of the Palestinians miserable. They are there to defend us from a very real threat.”

She stopped for a moment to breathe as tears rolled down her cheeks. Then she continued looking at everyone “I wish it was possible to stop only the person who is trying to hurt us instead of punishing everyone. But every time we have taken a step back hoping for change, the other side has used it against us, just like when we pulled out of Lebanon or out of Gaza.….I just wish you could see that we are not each other's enemies, that we all have a common enemy that we need to work together in order to defeat!!"

Suddenly Rasha, a Muslim Palestinian woman, stood up and said to Tamar: “You should be afraid… because we (the Arabs) are growing and becoming stronger from within, and we can no longer agree to being oppressed.” She seemed angry, frustrated.

Looking around Tamar said: “You see????”

Ann invited Rasha to share more of her frustration with the group. For a while she also hit and screamed, remembering the things she and her family had lost during the years of living in Israel. Her mothers’ family had become refugees in 1948 fleeing to Lebanon. The father had stayed in Israel and a couple of years later only part of the family was given permission to return. Every morning Rasha’s mother would wake up to see her own mother crying by the kitchen table as she gazed at photos of her sons whom she was no longer able to see.

Rasha continued hitting until something shifted and tears began flowing down her cheeks. 'It is not hate I feel' she cried "just so much pain... I just want this situation to end"... Everyone moved in, encircling Rasha, touching and holding one another, crying together. Tamar also moved closer and when Rasha opened her eyes for a moment and saw Tamar gazing at her lovingly she moved into her arms hugging her and sobbing. It seemed that despite all the words that had been said and the pain that was still present in the room, at that moment we felt closer to each other than ever before.

Thinking back I now realize that a miracle happens after we express our painful emotions in a caring place where they are acknowledged and heard. And the miracle is that we are able to go back home. Not to the home where Rina can touch her grandmother’s hand, Tamar can feel safe with her mother or Rasha’s grandmother can see her sons again. We can never go back there. But we can go back to a different home -- our own hearts and our ability to care and love. And the love that we feel in those moments is a cornerstone to Peace and at the heart of what the Beyond Words organization seeks to create and accomplish.

Good News

The facilitators who participated in the Omega training are taking the knowledge and experience they received at Omega into their work in different areas of Israel:

Rina and Tahane are organizing a Beyond Words/Core Energetics group for 20 young Bedouin women leaders due to start in December 2010 in the Negev near Beer Sheva. They are also continuing to protest courageously against the destruction of their village and the uprooting of trees (which happened this week.)

Mira who works with close to 80 men and women in empowerment, coaching and training groups in central Israel has brought the inspiring stories from Omega to the groups as well as the practice of listening partnerships which she learned in the Beyond Words course. She said that she was very inspired by the presentation given by Phyllis Blees and Joyce Beck from Peace through Commerce Inc.(www.peacethroughcommerce.com) about how everyone wins when we invest in girls.http://www.girleffect.org/about-us

Efy has already used some of the ideas she learned at the Omega training in several of her groups in Mgrar college and at her own school in Tefen. Based on their feedback she reports that the work commenced a deep healing process for many of the women involving becoming empowered despite messages they have received throughout their lives from their family and community.

. Miri, a social worker in the rehabilitation department of the Israeli Social Security in Nazareth, received a position as head of women’s affairs in Social Security where she intends to use her deep knowledge of the Beyond Words and Core Energetics work. Hooray!!!

. Yoli is continuing to study in a Beyond Words group in the Arab village of Baane and will open her own Beyond Words group in Kamon, the community where she lives near Karmiel

. Ola, who could not attend the workshop as a result of not having a travel visa, has finally received her visa!!!!

And more from Beyond Words…

This year, we are continuing our program with kindergarten teachers in the city of Acco and the surrounding communities; we are adding an advanced Beyond Words training course that includes a component of community involvement; we are starting a two year Beyond Words/Core Energetics training the trainers course led by Ann Bradney and our staff in March 2011; and we are beginning a new pilot program that involves creating alliances across borders. We are expecting to work with approximately 130 Arab, Jewish and Palestinian women teachers, professionals in the helping fields and facilitators, both religious and secular and expect the secondary beneficiaries of this program to be approximately 3,000 children and family members.

Special Thanks

To all the women whose incredible loving support made this program possible, to our Friends of Beyond Words in the USA who have seen the benefits of this work and have supported us for years and to David for his wonderful editorial comments.

Invitation

To support our programs please visit our website at: www.beyondwords.org.il

Or send a check earmarked for Beyond Words to:

The Abraham Fund Initiatives

9 East 45th Street

New York, NY 10017

Tel: 212-661-7770

Fax: 212-935-1834

E-mail: info@abrahamfund.org

Nitsan Gordon MA, Director

The Beyond Words Organization

www.beyondwords.org.il

2010-11-15T12:01:00.000-08:00

Peter Bregman writes in the Harvard Business Review about Leadership and the Radically Alive Leader Workshop. Check it out here:

http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2010/11/why-leaders-must-feel-pain.html

Core Energetics International Leaders Meeting | Hosted by the Mexican Core Energetics Institute

2010-11-04T16:05:00.000-07:00

After the first Training Module we flew to Mexico for a leaders' meeting. We were a group of six leaders who have or are connected to Core Institutes. After a few days we were joined by some of our staff. We had a rich and deep international meeting- sharing our experience and gifts and creativity. The Mexican Insitute hosted us and created such a sacred space for us to do our work- thank you Core Mexico!! Here are some pictures- enjoy.

Hearing from Students

2010-07-09T11:53:00.000-07:00

"I'd be hard pressed to think of another workshop, seminar or forum that provides such a strong platform for true transformational change. This isn't some idyllic retreat or quick two-day affair - it's a marathon of opportunity after opportunity to takes risks, to access blocked feelings and to change the way you relate to the world. Ann's training program is for the individual that is truly ready to dig deep and get to know him or herself in a whole new way."
- J. Stein

"This work has transformed my life by giving me a place to feel and explore all the parts of myself. I've discovered gifts I didn't know I had. I let go of my shame and self-judgement. I learned to trust the wisdom of my deepest impulses. I came out of hiding and feel ready to give all of who I am to this world. I've never felt more free."
- David Sutcliffe

"The Leadership Training Program at the Radical Aliveness/Core Energetics Institute of Southern California finally moved me out of my head and into my body. I realized that my sometimes crippling hip pain of more than a year's duration represented more than degenerative osteoarthritis, but rather was an expression of embodied attachments to both an individual and to an entire program that I was finally able to release after much process work, thereby saving myself from the dreaded travail of revision hip replacement surgery. For this miracle I am deeply grateful."

- Paul M. Allen, M.D.

Our First Training Program Graduation

2010-07-09T11:25:00.000-07:00

The first two years of Radical Aliveness came to completion two weeks ago. We graduated the first class of the two year Leadership Training program. As the graduation took place it became clear how big an undertaking this has been for all of us; the dedication of the students, the things they said, the inspiration was palpable.

We celebrated on Saturday night, and the following day as we were getting ready to go into our community class, Angela from the first year asked me if the first year students could have some time in the class. Our program emphasizes leadership and one of the beautiful things is the leadership that emerges in the groups. I always say yes to it. The first year ended up leading the community class, each one standing and thanking the 2nd year students for their pioneering spirits, their power of example. They said that when things felt hard or scary they looked to the second year and saw that whatever they needed to go through was worth it because they could see the power and connection in them. As the day unfolded others got up and we ended with Jeff, our resident music producer, leading us in an impromptu chanting session.

As I look back on these past two years there is so much I have learned. Sherri, from the second year sent me a link to a youtube video about a young woman street artist who got offered a show and said – “the space was given to me and I just filled it”. That is how I feel- we dream, we create- and then we grow into the space that wants to be filled. I would say never dream too small. I think about starting this program, not knowing what it would be, not knowing how I would do it, but knowing there was a deep desire in me to create something that fit my vision. I could never have dreamed up what has been created. I could not have known who I would become in this process. The great thing is that we grow into our lives. We don’t have to know, just trust and life will help us get where we are going, life will shape us into who we truly are.

Vision is powerful- when we put it out people respond, I want to thank all the students and assistants who have felt the vision, who have come to be part of this creation, who have brought their own leadership and creativity and voices and who wholeheartedly feel their importance in it. We are developing something new and we all feel it. We are developing a group process that works with the world. We are evolving our consciousness through world issues while we also develop ourselves as individuals. We are trying to become a community that embraces diversity inside and out. We are learning to work with conflict. We are becoming leaders who can face the most intense energy in life and not shrink from it. Most dear to my heart, we are becoming people who understand that life requires our participation. We must all be leaders. This takes courage. It requires us to know we have responsibility for our lives and for the life around us. It requires us to stop being passive observers. It is a deep knowing that becoming fully who we are meant to be is what the world needs. I feel inspired when I see my students and how alive they are and how much they are willing to speak up- to challenge and to be here.

I can’t wait to see where we go. When life is the leader it is always a mystery and always so much bigger and better than anything we could create on our own. Here’s to the next two years!

Photos from June 2010 Graduation

2010-07-08T17:38:00.000-07:00

When News Becomes Personal: Working with Women from Israel

2010-06-05T18:35:00.000-07:00

One of the incredible things about working with people in the world is that the news no longer feels far away- it becomes personal, about our friends and loved ones. This experience of the world is incredible. That wall of separation we have where things feel unreal or far away or not about us just collapses. And that is a very good thing. When the news becomes something that touches us – or when we become able to touch the events in the world, we become more a part of things and our participation becomes more urgent.

I have been thinking about the events in Israel this past week. Having worked with the women of Beyond Words for the past few years I feel a very close connection with what is happening. I have learned so much from working with these women. On one level it feels that one of the simplest and at the same time most powerful thing that we as human beings can do is to sit with the “other”, the “enemy” and learn about the ways we are the same. As I have watched these women over the years I have seen the profound shifting that happens in points of view and perspectives as we listen to our enemies. Sometimes I think if everyone in the world did this we would have peace. But here is what is required- we have to sit with deep complexity, discomfort, strong feelings, disagreement, and still be able to hold onto our shared humanity. This is not easy- think about sitting in a room with someone you disagree with strongly, now throw in the energy of oppression, terrorism, death, bombs, fear. The people who do this are true heroines.

Complexity is something I think about a lot these days. If we as a world are going to survive we must develop greater tolerance for the complexity in which we live. There are not easy answers, in fact the need for simple and easy answers is part of the problem. We need to develop the capacity to sit with discomfort and not knowing for long periods of time. We need to be able to see beyond our own life spans into a future that that will be affected by our ability to allow its emergence through our tolerance of the present and service to this future. What an honor to give ourselves over to this.

I have included an e-mail I got from Nitsan, one of the leaders of Beyond Words. It touched me deeply- it touched me because she wrote about herself and also her co-leader Sylvia. Nitsan is Jewish and Sylvia is Arab. I love them both. They remain friends, they listen to each other, they see things differently and yet they know the only way is to stay in connection and listen and care and speak honestly.

It is truly something to do this deep emotional work with these women who process their feelings around war and loss and fear and hate with each other. They are my inspiration and my teachers. I have included here some pictures from our work together as well as a video I took when I was with them in Mobile Alabama. You will see from watching it the joy and aliveness that they have with each other even as they process the conflict they face together. Women laughing and crying with each other as a path to peace; I’m there!

From Nitsan in Israel

2010-06-04T19:25:00.000-07:00

From: Nitsan Gordon - Giles MA, Director
The Beyond Words Organization

This last week with the Flotilla event has been agonizing. I am aware of so much -- the truth, the hypocrisy, the different set of values that people use when judging Israel, the immense suffering of the Palestinian people, the suffering of the families of the dead, the pain of the wounded and our own suffering. What hurts the most, though, is looking at ourselves in the mirror that the world is now holding up for us. It does not look good. In fact it looks pretty bad. Owning this part of us, this part of me is so painful.

What I am hoping for is that the criticism we are under now will put more pressure on our leaders to truly pursue peace. I am also seeing the immense need for our work and keep hearing Ann's words about staying in our healing leadership in the presence of strong emotions. We are now surrounded with powerful emotions... from some of the Knesset members who almost hit each other at the Knesset this week to the streets where flags and tires are burning and people are screaming.

On Tuesdays I have a Beyond Words group in Mgrar, Roset and Noha's village with Roset, Kaltoum and several other women.
We spent some time sharing our feelings around this incident. Some women were very upset: " Why couldn't we just let those supplies reach Gaza?" they asked. Or " Was there no other way to stop this boat? What happend to our intelligence? " One woman's husband works at the prisons. He is an Arab Druze. The Muslim prisoners were very upset by what had happened. They started a hunger strike and attacked some of the guards. He was attacked with a knife. She was so upset. Another woman's brother is also an Arab Druze who works as a nurse in a hospital. He took care of some of the wounded from the flotilla who were rushed there. On his way home he passed through an Arab town where his car was attacked by very angry men. "But I am an Arab" he shouted at them, but that did not stop them from breaking his windows and scratching his car.

My Arab Palestinian friend and colleague Silvia speaks for many others when she keeps asking "How can people who are the oppressors, the occupiers call themselves victims .. how is this possible?"

Yet it seems that it is possible.We, the occupiers, still see ourselves as victims because we grew up surrounded by people suffering from post traumatic stress who were never treated for this condition. Also we grew up surrounded by events that kept reinforcing our fears. It is hard to stop reacting from a fearful place when there are so many reasons in our part of the world that give our fears legitimacy. Yet to own our part in fueling this situation and to seek healing for our fears and traumas so we no longer play an active role in continuing this self destructive drama ...this is where our work, Ann's work and Dick's work can be so important and perhaps even life saving.

Beyond Words Women from Israel during Womenspeak Conference 2010 in Mobile, Alabama

2010-06-03T09:47:00.000-07:00