I want to share this newsletter from Nitsan. In such a beautiful way, it speaks about the work I am doing with the Beyond Words women from Israel. One of the things that was special for me about this workshop was that three women from my Radical Aliveness training program also participated. The wisdom and strength they added was so meaningful – I loved having them be able to join in this experience.
Good News: The Beyond Words Newsletter
November 2010
Beyond Words (BW) is an Israeli nonprofit organization that works to promote a life of justice, tolerance and peace by empowering and training Jewish and Palestinian Arab women in Israel and the Occupied Territories to become agents of change.
To achieve this mission the organization runs courses and workshops for professionals in the helping fields, entrepreneurs, teachers, and mothers using a unique multidisciplinary approach also called Beyond Words. In October 2010 the Organization sent a group of Arab and Jewish facilitators to the Omega Institute in New York for in-depth peace building training with Ann Bradney (Radical Aliveness Core Energetics®) and the Beyond Words staff. That trip so far away from home proved to be …
The Way Back Home
by: Nitsan Gordon MA, Director, The Beyond Words Organization
The way back home is the way back into our own hearts. – Cathy Johnson
At first she just showed him her identity card. “No you can’t go in”, he said “Not today”. “But I must go in today” Rina, a young Arab Bedouin woman who lives in Israel, replied trying to control the urgency in her voice, “they are burying her tomorrow and if I don’t see her today I will never be able to see her again.” Her control was breaking and tears started welling up in her eyes.
Her grandmother who had lived in El Bureij – a refugee camp south of Gaza City – was the one who raised her and was more of a mother to her than her own. All she wanted was to be able to go across the border into Gaza and be with her family as they sat around the body and mourned this woman whom she loved so much. She just wanted to touch her hand and see her one last time. So she tried again. Facing the Druze Israeli soldier at the checkpoint and using a word that was not easy for a young proud Bedouin woman to use when facing a man: “Batrajak” she said. “Please I must see her just one last time.” She knew she was begging and might hate herself later but the urgency was too strong to deny and she had to do something, something that would change his cold gaze, something that would open his heart. But it was useless. “No” was the answer and nothing was going to change it.
Feeling defeated and so angry she drove back to her home near Beer Sheva. Two days later she was given permission to enter. But now her grandmother was already deep within the ground and all she could feel when she held her photo and gazed at the mound of earth was immense anger at everything and everyone. Especially she hated the Occupation that had denied so many of her people their rights for so long.
Now, months later, she was in a workshop at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck NY, thousands of miles away in a beautiful, sunny space with a wooden dance floor surrounded by large windows. Looking through she saw the autumn leaves of the nearby woods shine in greens and reds from the early morning rain and the sun shimmering on the nearby lake. The workshop was led by Ann Bradney who heads a school for Radical Aliveness Core Energetics® and lead facilitators from the staff of Beyond Words.
It did not seem like there could be a place that looked more different than the graveyard in El Boreij where she had come to bid goodbye to her grandmother and yet it was the first place in a long time where she felt safe to look at her feelings.
Was it the eyes of her partner in the listening partnership looking at her, really wanting to understand? Or Ann’s words --- that any feeling is welcome in this room no matter what it looks like and how terrible it feels? Or was it the 22 American and Israeli Jewish and Arab Palestinian women in the room who seemed to care so much? She did not know, but after two days of revealing more and more of herself and feeling so accepted she was ready to bring her anger to this group.
Holding a tennis racket in her gloved hand she began hitting the large (4X4 feet) foam cube (a workshop prop). At first no words came, not even a sound. But as she felt the energy starting to move more and more quickly within her body and as she heard the encouraging words around her, sounds began emerging from deep within, from places that she rarely visited and soon the sounds became words. “How dare you?” she screamed looking directly at the Jewish women in the group and beating the cube loudly with the tennis racket. She did not care at that moment what they thought or what anyone else thought. Hitting again and again she continued, “How dare you deny me this right? It is my right!!!! And I would never do this to you. Never” And then the tears began coming as she whispered: “All I wanted was to see her one last time, just to touch her hand….”
Crying she seemed to fold inward and some feelings of helplessness returned. But Nikki, a woman from East India who has led groups for women all over Africa, was standing behind her and would not let her retreat into her helplessness: “You have to continue hitting,” she whispered in her ear, “continue feeling your power because you don’t want to be a slave anymore, not to your own feelings of helplessness, not to anyone else. This is your opportunity to set yourself free.”
As Rina continued shouting, crying and hitting the cube, more words of anger came including anger towards the Israeli soldiers who she felt treated people so badly. “Our people would never do that to you,” she said.
Hearing those words some of the Jewish women in the room began fidgeting. Ann sensed it. She looked at Tamar who seemed very restless “Tamar, there seems to be a truth that wants to come out through you,” she said encouraging her to stand up and speak it.
Slowly Tamar stood up and faced Rina. Then she spoke, her body shaking. “I am just tired of feeling fear. For almost 50 years I have been breathing, feeling, eating fear. Fear coming through my mother who is a Holocaust survivor and lost both parents when she was six, fear of living next to the border, being bombed as we have been and fear of going to public places, where people explode. I am very sorry about what happened to you Rina and how you were not able to see your grandmother. It is so sad… and yet I don’t think you can isolate this situation from the reason why all this is happening. Our military is not just there at the checkpoints in order to make the lives of the Palestinians miserable. They are there to defend us from a very real threat.”
She stopped for a moment to breathe as tears rolled down her cheeks. Then she continued looking at everyone “I wish it was possible to stop only the person who is trying to hurt us instead of punishing everyone. But every time we have taken a step back hoping for change, the other side has used it against us, just like when we pulled out of Lebanon or out of Gaza.….I just wish you could see that we are not each other's enemies, that we all have a common enemy that we need to work together in order to defeat!!"
Suddenly Rasha, a Muslim Palestinian woman, stood up and said to Tamar: “You should be afraid… because we (the Arabs) are growing and becoming stronger from within, and we can no longer agree to being oppressed.” She seemed angry, frustrated.
Looking around Tamar said: “You see????”
Ann invited Rasha to share more of her frustration with the group. For a while she also hit and screamed, remembering the things she and her family had lost during the years of living in Israel. Her mothers’ family had become refugees in 1948 fleeing to Lebanon. The father had stayed in Israel and a couple of years later only part of the family was given permission to return. Every morning Rasha’s mother would wake up to see her own mother crying by the kitchen table as she gazed at photos of her sons whom she was no longer able to see.
Rasha continued hitting until something shifted and tears began flowing down her cheeks. 'It is not hate I feel' she cried "just so much pain... I just want this situation to end"... Everyone moved in, encircling Rasha, touching and holding one another, crying together. Tamar also moved closer and when Rasha opened her eyes for a moment and saw Tamar gazing at her lovingly she moved into her arms hugging her and sobbing. It seemed that despite all the words that had been said and the pain that was still present in the room, at that moment we felt closer to each other than ever before.
Thinking back I now realize that a miracle happens after we express our painful emotions in a caring place where they are acknowledged and heard. And the miracle is that we are able to go back home. Not to the home where Rina can touch her grandmother’s hand, Tamar can feel safe with her mother or Rasha’s grandmother can see her sons again. We can never go back there. But we can go back to a different home -- our own hearts and our ability to care and love. And the love that we feel in those moments is a cornerstone to Peace and at the heart of what the Beyond Words organization seeks to create and accomplish.
Good News
The facilitators who participated in the Omega training are taking the knowledge and experience they received at Omega into their work in different areas of Israel:
Rina and Tahane are organizing a Beyond Words/Core Energetics group for 20 young Bedouin women leaders due to start in December 2010 in the Negev near Beer Sheva. They are also continuing to protest courageously against the destruction of their village and the uprooting of trees (which happened this week.)
Mira who works with close to 80 men and women in empowerment, coaching and training groups in central Israel has brought the inspiring stories from Omega to the groups as well as the practice of listening partnerships which she learned in the Beyond Words course. She said that she was very inspired by the presentation given by Phyllis Blees and Joyce Beck from Peace through Commerce Inc.(www.peacethroughcommerce.com) about how everyone wins when we invest in girls.http://www.girleffect.org/about-us
Efy has already used some of the ideas she learned at the Omega training in several of her groups in Mgrar college and at her own school in Tefen. Based on their feedback she reports that the work commenced a deep healing process for many of the women involving becoming empowered despite messages they have received throughout their lives from their family and community.
. Miri, a social worker in the rehabilitation department of the Israeli Social Security in Nazareth, received a position as head of women’s affairs in Social Security where she intends to use her deep knowledge of the Beyond Words and Core Energetics work. Hooray!!!
. Yoli is continuing to study in a Beyond Words group in the Arab village of Baane and will open her own Beyond Words group in Kamon, the community where she lives near Karmiel
. Ola, who could not attend the workshop as a result of not having a travel visa, has finally received her visa!!!!
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And more from Beyond Words…
This year, we are continuing our program with kindergarten teachers in the city of Acco and the surrounding communities; we are adding an advanced Beyond Words training course that includes a component of community involvement; we are starting a two year Beyond Words/Core Energetics training the trainers course led by Ann Bradney and our staff in March 2011; and we are beginning a new pilot program that involves creating alliances across borders. We are expecting to work with approximately 130 Arab, Jewish and Palestinian women teachers, professionals in the helping fields and facilitators, both religious and secular and expect the secondary beneficiaries of this program to be approximately 3,000 children and family members.
Special Thanks
To all the women whose incredible loving support made this program possible, to our Friends of Beyond Words in the USA who have seen the benefits of this work and have supported us for years and to David for his wonderful editorial comments.
Invitation
To support our programs please visit our website at: www.beyondwords.org.il
Or send a check earmarked for Beyond Words to:
The Abraham Fund Initiatives
9 East 45th Street
New York, NY 10017
Tel: 212-661-7770
Fax: 212-935-1834
E-mail: info@abrahamfund.org
Nitsan Gordon MA, Director
The Beyond Words Organization
www.beyondwords.org.il
