The Latest from Radical Aliveness and Israel's Beyond Words

I want to share this newsletter from Nitsan. In such a beautiful way, it speaks about the work I am doing with the Beyond Words women from Israel. One of the things that was special for me about this workshop was that three women from my Radical Aliveness training program also participated. The wisdom and strength they added was so meaningful – I loved having them be able to join in this experience.

Good News: The Beyond Words Newsletter

November 2010

Beyond Words (BW) is an Israeli nonprofit organization that works to promote a life of justice, tolerance and peace by empowering and training Jewish and Palestinian Arab women in Israel and the Occupied Territories to become agents of change.

To achieve this mission the organization runs courses and workshops for professionals in the helping fields, entrepreneurs, teachers, and mothers using a unique multidisciplinary approach also called Beyond Words. In October 2010 the Organization sent a group of Arab and Jewish facilitators to the Omega Institute in New York for in-depth peace building training with Ann Bradney (Radical Aliveness Core Energetics®) and the Beyond Words staff. That trip so far away from home proved to be …

The Way Back Home

by: Nitsan Gordon MA, Director, The Beyond Words Organization

The way back home is the way back into our own hearts. – Cathy Johnson

At first she just showed him her identity card. “No you can’t go in”, he said “Not today”. “But I must go in today” Rina, a young Arab Bedouin woman who lives in Israel, replied trying to control the urgency in her voice, “they are burying her tomorrow and if I don’t see her today I will never be able to see her again.” Her control was breaking and tears started welling up in her eyes.

Her grandmother who had lived in El Bureij – a refugee camp south of Gaza City – was the one who raised her and was more of a mother to her than her own. All she wanted was to be able to go across the border into Gaza and be with her family as they sat around the body and mourned this woman whom she loved so much. She just wanted to touch her hand and see her one last time. So she tried again. Facing the Druze Israeli soldier at the checkpoint and using a word that was not easy for a young proud Bedouin woman to use when facing a man: “Batrajak” she said. “Please I must see her just one last time.” She knew she was begging and might hate herself later but the urgency was too strong to deny and she had to do something, something that would change his cold gaze, something that would open his heart. But it was useless. “No” was the answer and nothing was going to change it.

Feeling defeated and so angry she drove back to her home near Beer Sheva. Two days later she was given permission to enter. But now her grandmother was already deep within the ground and all she could feel when she held her photo and gazed at the mound of earth was immense anger at everything and everyone. Especially she hated the Occupation that had denied so many of her people their rights for so long.

Now, months later, she was in a workshop at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck NY, thousands of miles away in a beautiful, sunny space with a wooden dance floor surrounded by large windows. Looking through she saw the autumn leaves of the nearby woods shine in greens and reds from the early morning rain and the sun shimmering on the nearby lake. The workshop was led by Ann Bradney who heads a school for Radical Aliveness Core Energetics® and lead facilitators from the staff of Beyond Words.

It did not seem like there could be a place that looked more different than the graveyard in El Boreij where she had come to bid goodbye to her grandmother and yet it was the first place in a long time where she felt safe to look at her feelings.

Was it the eyes of her partner in the listening partnership looking at her, really wanting to understand? Or Ann’s words --- that any feeling is welcome in this room no matter what it looks like and how terrible it feels? Or was it the 22 American and Israeli Jewish and Arab Palestinian women in the room who seemed to care so much? She did not know, but after two days of revealing more and more of herself and feeling so accepted she was ready to bring her anger to this group.

Holding a tennis racket in her gloved hand she began hitting the large (4X4 feet) foam cube (a workshop prop). At first no words came, not even a sound. But as she felt the energy starting to move more and more quickly within her body and as she heard the encouraging words around her, sounds began emerging from deep within, from places that she rarely visited and soon the sounds became words. “How dare you?” she screamed looking directly at the Jewish women in the group and beating the cube loudly with the tennis racket. She did not care at that moment what they thought or what anyone else thought. Hitting again and again she continued, “How dare you deny me this right? It is my right!!!! And I would never do this to you. Never” And then the tears began coming as she whispered: “All I wanted was to see her one last time, just to touch her hand….”

Crying she seemed to fold inward and some feelings of helplessness returned. But Nikki, a woman from East India who has led groups for women all over Africa, was standing behind her and would not let her retreat into her helplessness: “You have to continue hitting,” she whispered in her ear, “continue feeling your power because you don’t want to be a slave anymore, not to your own feelings of helplessness, not to anyone else. This is your opportunity to set yourself free.”

As Rina continued shouting, crying and hitting the cube, more words of anger came including anger towards the Israeli soldiers who she felt treated people so badly. “Our people would never do that to you,” she said.

Hearing those words some of the Jewish women in the room began fidgeting. Ann sensed it. She looked at Tamar who seemed very restless “Tamar, there seems to be a truth that wants to come out through you,” she said encouraging her to stand up and speak it.

Slowly Tamar stood up and faced Rina. Then she spoke, her body shaking. “I am just tired of feeling fear. For almost 50 years I have been breathing, feeling, eating fear. Fear coming through my mother who is a Holocaust survivor and lost both parents when she was six, fear of living next to the border, being bombed as we have been and fear of going to public places, where people explode. I am very sorry about what happened to you Rina and how you were not able to see your grandmother. It is so sad… and yet I don’t think you can isolate this situation from the reason why all this is happening. Our military is not just there at the checkpoints in order to make the lives of the Palestinians miserable. They are there to defend us from a very real threat.”

She stopped for a moment to breathe as tears rolled down her cheeks. Then she continued looking at everyone “I wish it was possible to stop only the person who is trying to hurt us instead of punishing everyone. But every time we have taken a step back hoping for change, the other side has used it against us, just like when we pulled out of Lebanon or out of Gaza.….I just wish you could see that we are not each other's enemies, that we all have a common enemy that we need to work together in order to defeat!!"

Suddenly Rasha, a Muslim Palestinian woman, stood up and said to Tamar: “You should be afraid… because we (the Arabs) are growing and becoming stronger from within, and we can no longer agree to being oppressed.” She seemed angry, frustrated.

Looking around Tamar said: “You see????”

Ann invited Rasha to share more of her frustration with the group. For a while she also hit and screamed, remembering the things she and her family had lost during the years of living in Israel. Her mothers’ family had become refugees in 1948 fleeing to Lebanon. The father had stayed in Israel and a couple of years later only part of the family was given permission to return. Every morning Rasha’s mother would wake up to see her own mother crying by the kitchen table as she gazed at photos of her sons whom she was no longer able to see.

Rasha continued hitting until something shifted and tears began flowing down her cheeks. 'It is not hate I feel' she cried "just so much pain... I just want this situation to end"... Everyone moved in, encircling Rasha, touching and holding one another, crying together. Tamar also moved closer and when Rasha opened her eyes for a moment and saw Tamar gazing at her lovingly she moved into her arms hugging her and sobbing. It seemed that despite all the words that had been said and the pain that was still present in the room, at that moment we felt closer to each other than ever before.

Thinking back I now realize that a miracle happens after we express our painful emotions in a caring place where they are acknowledged and heard. And the miracle is that we are able to go back home. Not to the home where Rina can touch her grandmother’s hand, Tamar can feel safe with her mother or Rasha’s grandmother can see her sons again. We can never go back there. But we can go back to a different home -- our own hearts and our ability to care and love. And the love that we feel in those moments is a cornerstone to Peace and at the heart of what the Beyond Words organization seeks to create and accomplish.

Good News

The facilitators who participated in the Omega training are taking the knowledge and experience they received at Omega into their work in different areas of Israel:

Rina and Tahane are organizing a Beyond Words/Core Energetics group for 20 young Bedouin women leaders due to start in December 2010 in the Negev near Beer Sheva. They are also continuing to protest courageously against the destruction of their village and the uprooting of trees (which happened this week.)

Mira who works with close to 80 men and women in empowerment, coaching and training groups in central Israel has brought the inspiring stories from Omega to the groups as well as the practice of listening partnerships which she learned in the Beyond Words course. She said that she was very inspired by the presentation given by Phyllis Blees and Joyce Beck from Peace through Commerce Inc.(www.peacethroughcommerce.com) about how everyone wins when we invest in girls.http://www.girleffect.org/about-us

Efy has already used some of the ideas she learned at the Omega training in several of her groups in Mgrar college and at her own school in Tefen. Based on their feedback she reports that the work commenced a deep healing process for many of the women involving becoming empowered despite messages they have received throughout their lives from their family and community.

. Miri, a social worker in the rehabilitation department of the Israeli Social Security in Nazareth, received a position as head of women’s affairs in Social Security where she intends to use her deep knowledge of the Beyond Words and Core Energetics work. Hooray!!!

. Yoli is continuing to study in a Beyond Words group in the Arab village of Baane and will open her own Beyond Words group in Kamon, the community where she lives near Karmiel

. Ola, who could not attend the workshop as a result of not having a travel visa, has finally received her visa!!!!

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And more from Beyond Words…

This year, we are continuing our program with kindergarten teachers in the city of Acco and the surrounding communities; we are adding an advanced Beyond Words training course that includes a component of community involvement; we are starting a two year Beyond Words/Core Energetics training the trainers course led by Ann Bradney and our staff in March 2011; and we are beginning a new pilot program that involves creating alliances across borders. We are expecting to work with approximately 130 Arab, Jewish and Palestinian women teachers, professionals in the helping fields and facilitators, both religious and secular and expect the secondary beneficiaries of this program to be approximately 3,000 children and family members.

Special Thanks

To all the women whose incredible loving support made this program possible, to our Friends of Beyond Words in the USA who have seen the benefits of this work and have supported us for years and to David for his wonderful editorial comments.

Invitation

To support our programs please visit our website at: www.beyondwords.org.il

Or send a check earmarked for Beyond Words to:

The Abraham Fund Initiatives

9 East 45th Street

New York, NY 10017

Tel: 212-661-7770

Fax: 212-935-1834

E-mail: info@abrahamfund.org

Nitsan Gordon MA, Director

The Beyond Words Organization

www.beyondwords.org.il

Peter Bregman writes in the Harvard Business Review about Leadership and the Radically Alive Leader Workshop. Check it out here:

http://blogs.hbr.org/bregman/2010/11/why-leaders-must-feel-pain.html

Core Energetics International Leaders Meeting | Hosted by the Mexican Core Energetics Institute

After the first Training Module we flew to Mexico for a leaders' meeting. We were a group of six leaders who have or are connected to Core Institutes. After a few days we were joined by some of our staff. We had a rich and deep international meeting- sharing our experience and gifts and creativity. The Mexican Insitute hosted us and created such a sacred space for us to do our work- thank you Core Mexico!! Here are some pictures- enjoy.

Hearing from Students

"I'd be hard pressed to think of another workshop, seminar or forum that provides such a strong platform for true transformational change. This isn't some idyllic retreat or quick two-day affair - it's a marathon of opportunity after opportunity to takes risks, to access blocked feelings and to change the way you relate to the world. Ann's training program is for the individual that is truly ready to dig deep and get to know him or herself in a whole new way."
- J. Stein

"This work has transformed my life by giving me a place to feel and explore all the parts of myself. I've discovered gifts I didn't know I had. I let go of my shame and self-judgement. I learned to trust the wisdom of my deepest impulses. I came out of hiding and feel ready to give all of who I am to this world. I've never felt more free."
- David Sutcliffe

"The Leadership Training Program at the Radical Aliveness/Core Energetics Institute of Southern California finally moved me out of my head and into my body. I realized that my sometimes crippling hip pain of more than a year's duration represented more than degenerative osteoarthritis, but rather was an expression of embodied attachments to both an individual and to an entire program that I was finally able to release after much process work, thereby saving myself from the dreaded travail of revision hip replacement surgery. For this miracle I am deeply grateful."

- Paul M. Allen, M.D.

Our First Training Program Graduation

The first two years of Radical Aliveness came to completion two weeks ago. We graduated the first class of the two year Leadership Training program. As the graduation took place it became clear how big an undertaking this has been for all of us; the dedication of the students, the things they said, the inspiration was palpable.

We celebrated on Saturday night, and the following day as we were getting ready to go into our community class, Angela from the first year asked me if the first year students could have some time in the class. Our program emphasizes leadership and one of the beautiful things is the leadership that emerges in the groups. I always say yes to it. The first year ended up leading the community class, each one standing and thanking the 2nd year students for their pioneering spirits, their power of example. They said that when things felt hard or scary they looked to the second year and saw that whatever they needed to go through was worth it because they could see the power and connection in them. As the day unfolded others got up and we ended with Jeff, our resident music producer, leading us in an impromptu chanting session.

As I look back on these past two years there is so much I have learned. Sherri, from the second year sent me a link to a youtube video about a young woman street artist who got offered a show and said – “the space was given to me and I just filled it”. That is how I feel- we dream, we create- and then we grow into the space that wants to be filled. I would say never dream too small. I think about starting this program, not knowing what it would be, not knowing how I would do it, but knowing there was a deep desire in me to create something that fit my vision. I could never have dreamed up what has been created. I could not have known who I would become in this process. The great thing is that we grow into our lives. We don’t have to know, just trust and life will help us get where we are going, life will shape us into who we truly are.

Vision is powerful- when we put it out people respond, I want to thank all the students and assistants who have felt the vision, who have come to be part of this creation, who have brought their own leadership and creativity and voices and who wholeheartedly feel their importance in it. We are developing something new and we all feel it. We are developing a group process that works with the world. We are evolving our consciousness through world issues while we also develop ourselves as individuals. We are trying to become a community that embraces diversity inside and out. We are learning to work with conflict. We are becoming leaders who can face the most intense energy in life and not shrink from it. Most dear to my heart, we are becoming people who understand that life requires our participation. We must all be leaders. This takes courage. It requires us to know we have responsibility for our lives and for the life around us. It requires us to stop being passive observers. It is a deep knowing that becoming fully who we are meant to be is what the world needs. I feel inspired when I see my students and how alive they are and how much they are willing to speak up- to challenge and to be here.

I can’t wait to see where we go. When life is the leader it is always a mystery and always so much bigger and better than anything we could create on our own. Here’s to the next two years!

Photos from June 2010 Graduation

When News Becomes Personal: Working with Women from Israel

One of the incredible things about working with people in the world is that the news no longer feels far away- it becomes personal, about our friends and loved ones. This experience of the world is incredible. That wall of separation we have where things feel unreal or far away or not about us just collapses. And that is a very good thing. When the news becomes something that touches us – or when we become able to touch the events in the world, we become more a part of things and our participation becomes more urgent.

I have been thinking about the events in Israel this past week. Having worked with the women of Beyond Words for the past few years I feel a very close connection with what is happening. I have learned so much from working with these women. On one level it feels that one of the simplest and at the same time most powerful thing that we as human beings can do is to sit with the “other”, the “enemy” and learn about the ways we are the same. As I have watched these women over the years I have seen the profound shifting that happens in points of view and perspectives as we listen to our enemies. Sometimes I think if everyone in the world did this we would have peace. But here is what is required- we have to sit with deep complexity, discomfort, strong feelings, disagreement, and still be able to hold onto our shared humanity. This is not easy- think about sitting in a room with someone you disagree with strongly, now throw in the energy of oppression, terrorism, death, bombs, fear. The people who do this are true heroines.


Complexity is something I think about a lot these days. If we as a world are going to survive we must develop greater tolerance for the complexity in which we live. There are not easy answers, in fact the need for simple and easy answers is part of the problem. We need to develop the capacity to sit with discomfort and not knowing for long periods of time. We need to be able to see beyond our own life spans into a future that that will be affected by our ability to allow its emergence through our tolerance of the present and service to this future. What an honor to give ourselves over to this.

I have included an e-mail I got from Nitsan, one of the leaders of Beyond Words. It touched me deeply- it touched me because she wrote about herself and also her co-leader Sylvia. Nitsan is Jewish and Sylvia is Arab. I love them both. They remain friends, they listen to each other, they see things differently and yet they know the only way is to stay in connection and listen and care and speak honestly.

It is truly something to do this deep emotional work with these women who process their feelings around war and loss and fear and hate with each other. They are my inspiration and my teachers. I have included here some pictures from our work together as well as a video I took when I was with them in Mobile Alabama. You will see from watching it the joy and aliveness that they have with each other even as they process the conflict they face together. Women laughing and crying with each other as a path to peace; I’m there!