From Nitsan in Israel

From: Nitsan Gordon - Giles MA, Director
The Beyond Words Organization

This last week with the Flotilla event has been agonizing. I am aware of so much -- the truth, the hypocrisy, the different set of values that people use when judging Israel, the immense suffering of the Palestinian people, the suffering of the families of the dead, the pain of the wounded and our own suffering. What hurts the most, though, is looking at ourselves in the mirror that the world is now holding up for us. It does not look good. In fact it looks pretty bad. Owning this part of us, this part of me is so painful.

What I am hoping for is that the criticism we are under now will put more pressure on our leaders to truly pursue peace. I am also seeing the immense need for our work and keep hearing Ann's words about staying in our healing leadership in the presence of strong emotions. We are now surrounded with powerful emotions... from some of the Knesset members who almost hit each other at the Knesset this week to the streets where flags and tires are burning and people are screaming.


On Tuesdays I have a Beyond Words group in Mgrar, Roset and Noha's village with Roset, Kaltoum and several other women.
We spent some time sharing our feelings around this incident. Some women were very upset: " Why couldn't we just let those supplies reach Gaza?" they asked. Or " Was there no other way to stop this boat? What happend to our intelligence? " One woman's husband works at the prisons. He is an Arab Druze. The Muslim prisoners were very upset by what had happened. They started a hunger strike and attacked some of the guards. He was attacked with a knife. She was so upset. Another woman's brother is also an Arab Druze who works as a nurse in a hospital. He took care of some of the wounded from the flotilla who were rushed there. On his way home he passed through an Arab town where his car was attacked by very angry men. "But I am an Arab" he shouted at them, but that did not stop them from breaking his windows and scratching his car.

My Arab Palestinian friend and colleague Silvia speaks for many others when she keeps asking "How can people who are the oppressors, the occupiers call themselves victims .. how is this possible?"

Yet it seems that it is possible.We, the occupiers, still see ourselves as victims because we grew up surrounded by people suffering from post traumatic stress who were never treated for this condition. Also we grew up surrounded by events that kept reinforcing our fears. It is hard to stop reacting from a fearful place when there are so many reasons in our part of the world that give our fears legitimacy. Yet to own our part in fueling this situation and to seek healing for our fears and traumas so we no longer play an active role in continuing this self destructive drama ...this is where our work, Ann's work and Dick's work can be so important and perhaps even life saving.